This week, we get two weeks’ worth of “previously” material. Important plot revealer, or time waster? You be the judge.

When the girls get home from saying goodbye to ka-TAR-zhe-na, the realize that some evil madman has vandalized their house, covering their walls with poster-size prints of – agh! – Saleisha. At one point one of the girls, I think it’s Whitney, asks, “She got to pose with Tyra?” which, duh, should get you kicked off the show at this point.

Dominique says when she first saw Saleisha during the previous cycle, she knew she would win. “I guess you could say I’m the Saleisha of this competition,” she adds. If by that she means both appeared on “America’s Next Top Model” and then never heard from again, she might be right! About that whole victory thing … not so much.

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In the “previouslies,” I notice that they’re still pronouncing it Ka-TAR-zhe-na, so when Tyra does that weird little shrug at the beginning of the musical intro, I know it’s actually her response every time Katarzyna tried to make her pronounce her name correctly: “Whatever, girl – the only name I care gets pronounced right is my OWN.”

And, after this week, the pronunciation doesn’t matter anyway, for the moral of this week’s episode is that models should not think. Or, we shouldn’t have to see them do it, anyway.

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Wow: This shows people take their TV way too seriously: TMZ.com reports that a 42-year-old woman got stabbed by a friend for talking too loudly during an episode of “America’s Next Top Model.”

I’ve shushed a few people in my time, but a knife? The bloody victim was found on the couch — messy! — amid clumps of hair.

Opening credits, and this, like every week, I’m struck by how much better Anya looked before La Tyra decided to superbleach her hair into flax.

And they’re already in Rome! We’ve been denied the annual Little Bouncing Jet footage? Whitney informs us that “Rome is a huge fashion capital,“ which leads me to believe she might be confusing it with Milan, since that’s a bit like saying that Phoenix is a huge fashion capital. Her and Anya’s interviews make me suspect the girls got touch-ups before they got on the plane, since they’re looking particularly blonde.

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Previously: There were go-sees, and Claire went home. Were it not for her behavior the week before that, I would be more devastated.

Speaking of, here’s one of the first sound bites of the night: “If I ever went home, I would be devastated,” says … Stacy Ann. My dear, welcome to devastation.

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Back when I wrote this article about a local affiliate of the Parents Television Council, it took me a long time to figure out a way to write something that didn’t make me seethe: It was pretty common knowledge that a majority of the complaints “received” from the PTC were form letters with a spot for a signature and, in the online cases, a handy click-and-send button. A majority were from people who hadn’t even seen the programming in question.

So it made me roll my eyes when I heard the PTC lodged an indecency complaint against a recent episode of “America’s Next Top Model,” in which one of the contestants, Anya, posed for portfolio pictures “nude” on a bed. (You might recall I blogged about the episode here.)

Sure enough, here’s a shot of the click-and-send form about the episode. I love how they also include a handy screen shot “of the most indecent frame” — which allows them to still see the “filth” but feel morally superior because they’ve tagged it with red letters.

Most of the fuss seems to be about full-frontal nudity, which just proves these people need (a) better glasses, and (b) better screeners. Because anyone with half an eye would have seen that Anya was not actually naked during the shoot — she had a flesh-colored thong on. That’s right: No full-frontal. You can even see the line of the garment in the “graphic screen shot.” It’s darker than superpale Anya’s actual skin tone.

Now, am I begrudging these people the right to police the airwaves? Absolutely not: With freedoms come responsibilities, and a little watchdog action never hurt anyone. But who’s going to trust such a lackadaisacal sentry? They can’t even figure out what “naked” is, which shows their powers of observation are severely lacking.

Before this week, if you had asked me which was a greater force of devastation in America today, Tyra Banks or the influenza virus, I would have gone wholeheartedly with Miss Banks.

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This episode starts out with the girls complementing Aimee in the car after their photo shoot – mostly about her skin, about which the phrase “insanely crazy beautiful” is uttered. That, paired with the fact she had received relatively little screen time before tonight, made me write in my notes: “Toast.”

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(Posed and re-created for the camera? Not at all!)

Fatima says being in bottom two was “shocking.” You might say she had … a close shave? (Apparently not … but more about that later.) We see her practicing runway and poses, while Dominique practices talking about herself in the third person: “I believe in Dominique. Dominique’s going to win this competition.” I believe Dominique is seriously annoying.

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So, rather than recap every little thing that happened on “America’s Next Top Model” tonight, I’d write a haiku — you know, the poem with 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 — about each of the players in the episode.

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