“Freaking Tyra is in our living room!”

Yeah, Samantha, I feel you.  It’s like we’re sharing a brain. And that scares me a little bit.

Anyway, pizza makes way for lots of talk about Tyra — LOTS of talk about Tyra. And then for no particular reason there is, in rapid succession: a Snow White allusion; the revelation that Jay Manuel is Tyra Banks’ true love; and the revelation that Jay Manuel can lift a lot of weight — a LOT of weight.

Oh, and makeovers. With narrator Tyra dressed up like Glinda the Good Witch — wait, the good fierce witch? — and lots of covered mirrors. (Is that a Snow White reference?) And then the fairy tale references abruptly end. Thanks, editors!

Anyway, for the most part makeovers are pretty tame: Samantha gets the short choppy cut that some blonde always gets (hello, Renee!); that girl with the squeaky voice gets The Weave; and Elina gets a hairdo that is promoted as “a first in Top Model” history.

Yes, it is a first — the first time that Bette Midler’s 1990s hair is transplanted onto a young woman’s head. That weave of red frizz is a mess! Elina makes it look way better later on when she relaxes the curls into waves.  Not relaxed: her attitude about her mother.  I am sensing either a “abusive background” story or “unemotional ice princess” personality edit for her.

Speaking of references, with her new weave and giant earrings, Isis is taking inspiration from Jody Watley.  If Jody Watley had a penis and a lazy eye, anyway.

McKey’s black short hair is pretty nasty, too.

There is a Wal-Mart challenge involving Nigel’s wife. Horrible Hannah wins — I think my favorite description of her comes from Rich at Fourfour, who describes her thusly: “She looks about 6-years-old (cq) to me, and not a cute 6, but a snot-laden 6. She looks like one of those kids that you’re afraid to pick up or embrace because she’s always sticky, and it’s hard to tell the difference between pee and apple juice sometimes.”

Anyway, Hannah says she can now Google herself. Wait, she’s from Alaska! Do they have Wal-Marts in Alaska? Or the Internet?  Because they don’t have billboards, or people.

The challenge is swimsuits, and is it sad that I actually remembered Susan Holmes as a model? (She may have been a model, but she was no supermodel. It was just good timing — right when lots of people were “famous” models. Yasmeen Ghauri, Karen Mulder, or that chick that married Simon LeBon — all more famous than Susan Holmes.)

Anyway, it’s down to Analeigh and Brittany. For some reason the judges seem convinced that Analeigh’s ice skating has a natural correlation with modeling.  Hey, you used to balance on a tiny blade of metal — you should naturally be great at contorting your body into couture poses!  You know what? I use metal keys on my laptop to write this — I think I’m going to go start at a foundry tomorrow.

Nonetheless, it’s pretty-can-be-plain Brittany who goes home.  After this and Sharaun, I wonder if this means that McKey, as Last Brittany standing, can reclaim her real first name?

ammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 9/18/08
The shirt: Long-sleeved cotton button-down - one of my favorite shirts! (Abercrombie & Fitch outlet, Washington, D.C.)
The pants: Wide-wale cords (Banana Republic, circa 2001)
The shoes: Chukka boots by RJ Colt (Last Chance)
The scent: Cannabis Rose by Fresh
Listening to: “Touch Me I’m Going to Scream, Part 2” by My Morning Jacket

sammit

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