Tonight we learn that Nina Garcia, like Keith Whitley’s beloved, says it best when she says nothing at all. Her criticism of losing designer Emily’s outfit goes something like this:

“No comment.”

Tangent: Are Kelli’s beret’s this season’s version of Ricky’s railroad hats? She’s wearing a leopard one, and while she’s interviewing, she’s wearing a black one.

This week’s challenge is the annual “be inspired and take photos” one – the designers love the nightlife, they’ve got to boogie out in the rain-slicked city for a couple of hours.

Korto, Kelly and Joe get the New York Public Library, which allows us a shot of my second-favorite building in New York, the Chrysler building. (Remember when Chloe was inspired by it? Ah, happy memories … and another recycled challenge.) Suede, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer get Columbus Circle; Stella, Kenley, Blayne and Keith get Times Square; Emily, Terri and Jerell get Greenwich Village.

A quick rundown of inspirations: Jennifer, clock; Daniel, shadows and halos; Kelli, fire hydrant; Emily, energy and movement; Terri, graffiti; Keith, tread-upon magazine; Blayne, neon colors (surprise!); Kenley, artistic map; Leanne, tree planter grate (which, be honest: loops); Stella, horse blinder; Joe, a lamp (?); Korto and Jerell … well, not very memorable, I guess, because I don’t recall them. And trust me, you can pass on them this week.

While Keith is running around taking photos, he’s kind of oblivious to the other designers – walking in front of Stella’s shot, etc. Kenley and Stella assign much more meaning to this: He’s too competitive, etc. I think they’re reading too much into it.

I didn’t realize this is the first time the designers get to pick fabrics at Mood! Although I will point out that, since they’ll be going there time and time again, shouldn’t they be given reusable canvas bags or something? I mean, we did just have an eco challenge last week. Then again, that was last week …

And now it’s time for a roundup of interdesigner stitchery bitchery:
Joe on Kenley’s design: “Fort Lauderdale lawn chair-y.”
Kenley on Emily’s design: “It’s old, it’s been done, it’s cliche.”
Daniel on Jennifer’s design: “It doesn’t look chic, it’s matronly.”

Why is Kelli wandering around looking at everyone else’s outfits? Is she playing mini-Tim Gunn? Let’s bring in the real Mr. Gunn for … Tim Time!

He worries about the shape of Keith’s “abstract inspired” dress – is it costumey? “That doesn’t mean it can’t be fantastic,” he concedes. He loves Terri’s open-back dress-over-pants idea, and warns Leanne not to overwork her beautiful gray-and-black skirt.

Emily, however, does not get good news. “This is a black dress with a great big oversize corsage,” he says. “So, this is disappointing?” she asks. “Well, yeah,” he says, with a tone that suggests she is an idiot for not recognizing it. Of course, she then interviews about how she loves her design (translation: isn’t going to change it). Oh, designers, will you never learn?

Here is all I’m going to say about “holla atcha boy”: It is only slightly sillier to hear it uttered by Tim Gunn than it is to hear it uttered by a tanorexic fancy-nancy flip-flop-wearing Aberzombie from Seattle. BLAYNE.

This week, Korto, Joe, Jerell and Daniel get almost no screen time. Automatic usher into “safe.”

The next morning, Stella is wearing those same striped tights and garter. From the waist down, it looks like Raggedy Ann has had to start pulling tricks for extra cash.

Keith’s model had to drop out so the just-ousted model Alyssa is back. He huffs about having to “refit the whole thing,” which I don’t quite get because his original model never got to put on the dress, either. And, it’s made of scraps of fabric. It’s not exactly form-fitting.

Speaking of models, you know Leanne is hating hers right now for selling her up the river last week. If she ever wins a challenge, you know she’s gonna trade. I would.

This week’s guest judge is (former Scottsdale resident and disgruntled Saguaro High School graduate) Sandra Bernhard. Heidi does a plug for Sandra’s one-woman show “Without You I’m Nothing.” Have we flashed back to 1989, when Sandra Bernhard and that show were in people’s consciousness? I mean, I like Sandra Bernhard and all – I have almost all her books and her “Manic Superstar” is on my iPod – but really.

(You know how thumbnails work, right?)

Keith’s dress – well, I guess we don’t have to wonder who Michael Kors is talking about when he said it looks like “toilet paper.” It’s totally bulky. Blayne and Emily sort of have the same idea: Black dresses with bursts of color. Blayne’s is more orderly cascade, while Emily’s is … ugly. It reminds me of the flower wreath they put on the winning horse at the Run for the Roses. I think Leanne’s blouse and skirt are beautiful. I even have exclamation points in my notes. Jennifer’s babydoll, not so much. Even she says the tiered skirt is “not as fun and young” as she wants. Jerell has created a full-on gown, strapless with a tiered skirt. I love Kelli’s outfit, with a tight skirt, big-sleeved blouse and a good use of belt as accessory.

Kenley’s piece turned out well, too – kind of a Christian Siriano sleeve with that print top, with a wide burst of purple underneath. Not quite a bubble skirt – too wide for that, but close. Suede’s got kind of a Ralph Lauren thing going on, with a sleeveless, high-collared shirtdress. Stella’s is: a tank, with leather jeans that lace up the front. That was a lot of pounding of grommets for not a lot of result. I thought Daniel’s dress was beautiful … but apparently it’s not too memorable, because all I remember without looking at screen captures is the color, which did match his photo quite well. Korto’s got a jumpsuit, which I don’t really see any inspiration of. Terri’s “dress over pants” looks more like a tunic to me, but still kind of sassy. It is a great material.

Judging! More stitchery bitchery:
Kenley’s dress: “I think you have to be that tall, and that thin, to wear that dress” (Sandra).
Keith’s dress: “I can’t see a beautiful body anymore” (Heidi). “The effect is very sloppy, when it should be together” (Nina).
Emily: “Cha-cha,” “over the top” “Carmen Miranda moment.”

Jennifer reminds us of that Holly Golightly goes to Salvador Dali exhibit, blah, blah, blah. It can’t be good that the responses are “I don’t get a sense of surprise” and “on the boring side.”

At deliberations, Nina can’t say anything about Emily’s dress, while Heidi says “I’m not really interested to see more” of anything by Jennifer. Wow.

Kenley is the winner. She’s so happy she cries, which is nice to see someone actually show emotion about winning.

The final two are Jennifer and Emily, who looks like she’s standing before a firing squad. And rightly so, as she is shot down. I feel sorry for her until she interviews that that was not a going-home dress, defending it as beautiful and “finished.” Well, to each her own. Good luck with that.

Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, no more references to Suede in the third person. I’m hoping if we don’t pay attention to it, it’ll go away.

ammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 7/31/08
The shirt: 3/4-sleeve baseball tee by Bulldog (Urban Outfitters)
The pants: “Relax” jeans by Seven for All Mankind (Last Chance)
The shoes: 720 sneakers by New Balance (Sports Authority)
The scent: Honey & Lemon Sweet Sugar Scrub from L’Occitane
Listening to: “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You” by Black Kids (YouTube video here.)

sammit

Posted in: Project Runway |

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