This morning I’ll drag myself out of bed to be at the airport by 6:15 a.m. and catch a flight home to Montana for four days. I’m writing this at 11:30 p.m. the night before as I’m packing everything into a duffel bag — the last time I tried to take my carry-on onto a puddle jumper, I discovered the bag was too big to fit in the overhead compartment of that size plane. (Have they been shrinking those bins? Why do they make carry-ons if they don’t fit the bins?)

Anyway, I’m also trying to figure out what to wear on the plane: The practical side of me says: Wear what’s heaviest or hardest to pack. So jeans go on body, khakis go in luggage. Then I read it was 100 degrees in Montana today. (Do I need two pairs of pants?) It’s my parents’ 40th anniversary (dress pants?) , but it’s a low-key affair (khakis?). It’s always freezing on the plane (hoodie?).

I’ve decided to try to at least look like Clean-Cut Young Professional (Casual Edition), rather than wearing, say, a novelty T-shirt, cargo shorts and flip-flops. Because: (a) if you take off your flip-flops, you’re barefoot on those floors, whereas with shoes at least you’re in your socks. And, mostly, because (b) I really, really despite those women who wear flip-flops and velour jumpsuits when they travel.

Why? The fabric is too thin, which means every quiver and jiggle of their butts is unleashed on the public. The velour may be comfortable, but makes the wearer look like a slob, one step above sweatpants. In fact, I think they’re worse than sweat pants, because so many women are deluded into thinking, “Oh, at least I’m not wearing sweat pants — I’m dressed up!” No, you’re not. You’re wearing THIN SWEAT PANTS. At least real sweats are made of thicker material, which spares spectators from having to observe your “Juicy”-covered cellulite in motion.

So: Loafers, not flip-flops. (Plus, following the practical packing rule above, sandals would go in the bag, anyway.) Pants, not shorts. Casual Fridays shirt, not casual Saturdays T-shirt.

And my new favorite travel tip: Fill up the bowls of a contact lens kit you’re not using with small quantities of face cream or eye cream. It’ll be enough to last you a long weekend without trotting the full container through the security line, the screw-on lids keep anything from leaking, and it frees up more room in that quart-size zip-style plastic bag. (Just be sure to remember what you’ve put in each bowl!)

So, by the time you’re reading this, I’ve probably winged my way north, wearing what’s featured below. That means I won’t be blogging for the next few days — look for a triumphant return of Shoe Hot or Not on Tuesday. Have a great weekend!

(And by my next trip, I may have sprung for this duffel bag. I want it want it want it. It would make packing so much more fun.)

ammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 7/10/08
The shirt: Slim-cut long-sleeved cotton button-up from J Crew (a birthday gift from my friend James in Denver)
The pants: “Zatiny” jeans by Diesel (Diesel store, Denver, a birthday gift to myself)
The shoes: “Tumble” loafers by J Shoes (off the web)
The scent: Odeur 53 by Comme des Garçons in the morning, but I’m packing some of these samples for the trip: Travel-friendly containers!
Listening to: “The World Should Revolve Around Me” by Little Jackie

sammit

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