This week, we get two weeks’ worth of “previously” material. Important plot revealer, or time waster? You be the judge.

When the girls get home from saying goodbye to ka-TAR-zhe-na, the realize that some evil madman has vandalized their house, covering their walls with poster-size prints of – agh! – Saleisha. At one point one of the girls, I think it’s Whitney, asks, “She got to pose with Tyra?” which, duh, should get you kicked off the show at this point.

Dominique says when she first saw Saleisha during the previous cycle, she knew she would win. “I guess you could say I’m the Saleisha of this competition,” she adds. If by that she means both appeared on “America’s Next Top Model” and then never heard from again, she might be right! About that whole victory thing … not so much.

But why should I be the one talking bad about her? That’s what the other three girls are for – even Anya, which sort of makes me sad. However, these being these girls, the most they can come up with is: Dominique eats a lot of candy! Sometimes at night! Really? That’s all you got? Not the relentless talking? The referring to herself in the third person? The delusions?The wearing of the same red blouse that got her in the judges last week? Because I think that’s what she’s got on the next day when the girls arrive in a park where they meet Paulina – who looks awesome, BTW – and learn they’ll learn photography skills. Whitney says the good thing about the exercise is that she could see the other girls’ weaknesses. “It’s good to know it’s hard to find a good photo of my competition,” she says. Foreshadowing!

“Great job, you guys!” Paulina says so authentically that I almost believe her. She’s a great actress! (“Her Alibi” notwithstanding.) It turns out that was just a warmup for the actual challenge: Each girl will have five minutes to photograph Paulina! The winner will get 50 extra frames, and FYI, Ann Shoket of Seventeen magazine should never wear that much makeup in full daylight.

The winner ends up being Fatima. Other mini-highlights: Whitney calls Anya “a ball of radiation” because of her unleashed energy. The genius of Ann Shoket says that Whitney’s beauty photos of Paulina were great because “the light was on her face,” which, duh, they’re shooting in midafternoon light, and actually the photos seem really, really bright to me. Paulina gives Dominique a hard time, really challenging her with “do you mean this leg, or that leg?” and I don’t see any footage of her saying that to anyone else, which seems kind of mean.

Back home, Fatima is walking, walking, practicing for the runway, and Dominque is talking, talking, about believing in yourself and powerful energy and reaffirmations … Anya says that Dominique is draining, which if you can drain a ball of radiation, that’s some powerful energy vacuuming.

This week’s photo shoot is styled like ’50s glamour girls caught by paparazzi. Photographer will be Nigel Barker, so I immediately expect something like the Bollywood shoots where the girls take up like 1/50th of the actual photo. Jay says it should be cinematic, not just stand and model.
Fatima pulls the “I’ve never had a boyfriend” (due to the whole genital mutilation thing, one assumes) “and I can’t be sexy around guys.” This is the first shoot with a guy this season? For some reason I thought there had been one already. And it’s not like it’s a bra and panties romp, for pete’s sake.

Anya goes first and is OK – she only gets good shots when she’s distracted or, as it turns out, stumbling. Fatima is next and does pretty poorly – the words “I’m bored stiff” are mentioned, and Nigel says she was “not inspiring,” even after she got to look at her pictures and then rattle off another 50 frames.

Whitney also is very wooden, but “I felt like I looked really pretty.” And then they make the mistake of telling Dominique, “You have to believe you’re a diva, and then we’ll believe you.” If there’s one girl that you don’t need to tell that to, it would be Dominique. She does … OK, I think.

It’s weird that they would tell the girls this is supposed to be very cinematic, and then fault them for being a little pose-ish, like telling Dominique, “Do you walk down the stairs with your hand out like that?” Well, no, I don’t, but I’m also not a ’50s-style Italian superstar getting caught by paparazzi on a cobblestone street, so let me get into a character or something, OK?

Whitney says the photo judging will be about “the best of the worst” this week, which, really, isn’t that true every week mostly?

(Click on each thumbnail to bring up the full-size photo.)

At judging, Tyra is rocking a Farrah flip and the girls trot in all color-coded in blacks and gray. They had to have had help getting dressed.

AND I notice that Dominique’s name is at the top of J Alexander’s jacket this week, which as I noticed last week: not a good sign.

Highlights: Whitney had trouble modeling and “acting” at the same time. Paulina on Dominique: “That is a transvestite. You are a beautiful tranny.” Fatima didn’t “take it to the next level.” Actually, I think her pose and face looks like a very beautiful wedding shot.

Deliberations: Anya “slipped into” her shot, Fatima doesn’t look like someone actually caught by the paparazzi because she missed the concept of the shoot. Whitney looks like she wants to be caught. And can Dominique’s manly features handle a makeup contract?

Well it’s decided no. Tyra tells her to “master this face” which, wow, that’s a tall order. But I am sad to see her go, mainly because Fatima stays and we need some entertainment value besides trying to comprehend Anya’s pronunciation.

“My story goes on, I go on,” Dominique interviews. “ It’s gonna be a surprise what’s next for Dominique.”

If this show lives up to history, probably nothing good.

(Surprise!)

ammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 5/7/08
The shirt: Floral-embroidered light cotton button-down (Banana Republic)
The pants: Wool and polyester trousers (Banana Republic)
The shoes: Moccasin-style loafers by Prada (Last Chance)
The scent: Because I had to do some sad things today and wanted to say a little prayer for the folks involved, Amen by Philosophy

sammit

Posted in: ANTM • America's Next Top Model • ANTM • Sam Mittelsteadt • sammit |

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