When my friend Funny Michael e-mailed me that his new silver metallic loafers are his favorite pair of shoes he’s ever owned, I replied that the phrase “silver metallic loafers” frightened and intrigued me at the same time. I couldn’t believe that I would ever endorse a pair.

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I found this comic while browsing through the archives at Garfield Minus Garfield and thought: Is Jon Arbuckle trying to steal my job?

I love it when stuff matches. Shirts and pants, sheets and comforters. … Last weekend at the car wash I even passed the time trying to pair up the vehicle with the people waiting. That East Coast mook with the Gotti sons hair, heavy gold chains and sleeveless shirt: It’d be logical if he drove that red Chevy Corvette … but then again, if he sank all his money into that god-awful jewelry, maybe he was tooling around in that beater Nissan Sentra. (My car was done before his, so I’ll never know. Drat!)

I realized this week it may have gone too far when I replaced my shampoo and conditioner and got excited about how well the new bottles coordinated with the shower gel.

No, seriously: I have an Axe product in my shower now. I know — I’ve slagged it in the past as being the favored body spray of fifth-graders everywhere. But one day I was huffing my way through all the different body washes at Target — really, don’t ever go shopping for skin care stuff with me unless you’re willing to lose an hour of your life — and there was Axe Recovery shower gel ($4.79). Now, I don’t believe for a minute that the “invigorating electrolytes” really help you recuperate after a late night out … but the scent alone sold me: not perfumey like most other Axe products, but strictly on the citrus side. It’s like Gatorade for your body — with bubbles.

The citrus scent continues in the Redken for Men items, too. Go Clean Daily Care Shampoo ($9.95) and Finish Up Daily Weightless Conditioner ($10.95) are designed to moisturize and boost shine in normal to dry hair thanks to glycerin (the shampoo) and … mineral oil? (the conditioner). Whatever: It works great. I like the immediate effect, especially for the conditioner. No more “for best results, leave on 3 minutes.” It’s apply, work through and rinse. The line is sold only at professional salons; click here to be taken to a page that lets you find the closest salon by ZIP code.

ammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 3/7/08
The shirt: Four-button henley by Hugo Boss (Last Chance)
The pants: The Rebel Malcom dark-wash jeans by Joe’s Jeans (Vivi’s Boutique, Chandler)
The shoes: 720 sneakers by New Balance (Sports Authority)

sammit

This week has been a series of victories for my friend Michael, who: (1) traveled to Texas to help Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign there, and (2) has said from the beginning of the season that Christian Siriano would win “Project Runway.” I think I might need to have him pick my stocks … when I finally have money to invest in the stock market, anyway.

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(Enjoy it while it lasts, honey.)

If you listened real closely, at 1 minute ’til you could hear an eating disorder click back in.

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Jimmy Choo opened its doors in Scottsdale Fashion Square last weekend (on the first floor, across from Neiman Marcus), leading to this week’s Shoe Hot or Not selection, a gladiator sandal named Fife.

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To celebrate the opening of the movie “Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day,” which opens Friday — and which our movie writer, Craig Outhier, gave an A to (his review runs Thursday in Get Out) — cosmetics company Stila is giving away a four-day trip to London, including stays in four- and five-star hotels, spa visits and tea.

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I took one of my roommates to the airport this morning, and when I dropped him at the curb, he said, “You know, Last Chance is having a truckload sale today. I think they open at 9 instead of 9:30.”

Dammit. Just enough time to get there.

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