Those of you who had hoped that last week’s challenge had taught Christian a little humility … sorry. And damn if he doesn’t turn around and end up winning this week’s challenge! But Kit’s off interpretation of avant-garde gets her sent home.

Christian … how I love to snark on him, but really — he makes this season watchable. Everyone else is trying so hard to be diplomatic, and tasteful, and … ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Sorry, was I talking about someone else? Jillian, with her Thorazine voice? Gum-chomping Victorya? Crybaby Ricky? Christian is unrepentant and snitty and has that smug dismissive tone about … everything, but you know what? We’ve seen flashes of his talent in previous challenges. I realize it sort of contradicts what I thought last week, but as a viewer: Thank God he’s still around. Even if he does have some godawful boots.

This week’s challenge is inspired by the models’ outrageous hairstyles — they show up in everything from dreadlocks to crimps to a Sanjaya-style ponyhawk. In fact, the designers can pick their models by hairstyle, although some elect to stick with their tried-and-trues. (Hopefully this doesn’t mean Marie is gone next week!) The challenge allows them to go crazy: Their avant-garde looks need to be ambitious, but not practical or wearable.

Tim draws team members from a bag: Kit and Ricky, Rami and Sweet P, Christian and Chris, Victorya and Jillian. Everyone hems and haws about who’s gonna be team leader (Jillian: “Not a chance in hell”), because they’re afraid of getting kicked off if things go badly. (It’s the first person in each pairing I listed above.) They get 30 minutes to pick which hairstyle they’ll use, $300 and two days to finish.

Kit’s team will create a look based on nesting, but she says she doesn’t want it to look like “Little House on the Prairie.” Ricky says it’ll be based on “the girl in me and the bitch in you.”

Speaking of bitchy, Christian declares if he were a diva — if? — his name would be “Ferosh” (as in ferocious). Ferocious describes their idea — Christian’s making a gown from yards and yards of material, while Chris is creating a supremely oversize protuberance that will sprout from the model’s shoulder. (I’m not doing it justice.)

Rami decides there’s a corset/gown … over pants. This is outrageous? I know it was taped a while ago, but the girls over at Go Fug Yourself have been bemoaning dresses over pants for what seems like years now. Sweet P is going to do the pants, and Rami, who’s revealing himself to be a little control freakish, will do everything else. You know someone who’s so obsessive about pleating is going to be a micromanager. (Then again, Sweet P has proven to be pretty erratic — one week great [prom], another week weak ['this looks like a coffee filter, or a maxi-pad"], so would you blame him?)

Victorya wants to go punk, based on the fauxhawk, and Jillian agrees, but points out they both always have time management issues. “Two days are never enough for me,” she says.

It’s gonna be a lot of Rami/Sweet P drama this week — he says she’s already struggling with the pants on day one, and her interviews start out, “Look, dude.” Her point: “I’m not comprehending why he’s so stressed out. We’re ahead of the game.” (Again, I say: MAXI-PAD.) His point: He’s the team leader, so it’s “my ass on the line here.” And he wears such snug pants to highlight that! He can’t go yet …

Speaking of clothing, let’s discuss what Ricky keeps wearing. Besides the stupid hats. This is the second challenge he’s shown up in homemade capri shorts that look like he just sawed off a pair of jeans. And flat sneakers. This photo from the candy challenge — what the hell would ever inspire you to want to be dressed by him? A trucker cap, really? Between his millinery and his frequent towel shots, I’m not sure if I hate him more dressed, or undressed.

And Jillian: We’ve seen overalls, rainbow suspenders … is she dressing like Mork from Ork on purpose? This week she’s got big wide white gym-style shorts over black leggings. Here’s how bad it’s gotten: I don’t mind Christian’s VTP (Very Tight Pants) any more. And Chris’ leopard shirt? Fine, whatever.

“Let me take over this,” Rami says. I’m stunned.

Tim asks the designers to gather around for a special announcement. “I’m scared of special announcements,” says Jillian. He says they need to make a ready-to-wear garment that “embodies the essence of your avant-garde design.” They get another $50 and only one designer gets to go shopping. (He also pulls out his first televised use of the verb “caucus” for the season!) His point: Fashion designers use their crazy couture shows to get attention, but need to sell more customer-friendly ready-to-wear to make money. (Actually, they need to sell accessories like handbags, shoes and belts to make money, but we get the idea.)

No surprises here: Victorya’s “already off schedule,” and Rami’s shooting down anything Sweet P suggests. He does let her buy the fabric for the ready-to-wear garment — I think only because he’s so obsessive about the signature piece, he wants to get her hands off it. Which works out great for her, because she wants to have something to show as her own, and it’s clearly not going to be anything Rami touches. But he wants to see what she’s doing, she’s not at that stage yet, and they’re so tense that even their model is uncomfortable. Sweet P is crying, and says she hopes they don’t end up in some kind of fistfight. Something in me says she could take him. (Don’t hurt the face! Don’t hurt the face!)

With six hours to go, here comes product placement heaven: the hair guy “consults” on what the less-dramatic companion hairstyles will look like. This involves minutes of him pretending to make suggestions while the designers agree. Also, the winning designs will be in a magazine ad for the line. Interesting: Rami lets Sweet P do the hair and makeup. Did he give her explicit instructions on note cards?

Tim Time! He says Christian and Chris’ AG piece is “staggering,” but the RTW translation looks “kind of cheap.” (Christian, of course, disagrees and says it looks “very expensive.” He never listens.) Kit and Ricky’s piece looks like “costume,” and needs dramatizing and more exuberance. Of Rami’s outfit — yeah, I’m not attaching Sweet P’s name to it — he asks, “Is this going to surprise” the judges? It really does look just like another Rami outfit — draping, twisting, pleating, blah blah blah. Rami’s all, “this is the first corset I’ve done for them,” and Tim says it needs to “go many steps higher.” It looks too much like Rami. Victorya and Jillian says they’re doing OK. Tim likes their coat — and this is my first real look at it, and I do, too! — and says if they can achieve that and a second look, it will be incredible.

At the end of the day, Rami and Sweet P aren’t even talking — tense! — and Victorya and Jillian haven’t even started on their second look.

“In all honesty, I know we’re gonna win,” Christian says. It looks like the only other team that will give them a run for that is the self-dubbed “Team Last-Minute.” I love-love-LOVE that high-collared long coat!

Runway! Guest judge is Alberta Ferretti. I wish Sweet P would take out her piercing. We learn only one designer will go home tonight (probably the team leader).

Rami’s outfit is … a dress over pants. He’s blended two colors of chiffony material, beige and nude, over dark gray trousers. It’s kind of boring. Sweet P’s cute, floaty dress uses shiny silver satin at the shoulder, but mostly silver chiffon with a little nude at the hem.

Christian and Chris’ AG piece is crazy-dramatic — it reminds me of something Viktor & Rolf would do. The fabric is all the color of suntan pantyhose, but it’s elaborately layered (he points out there’s 45 yards of material in it), and the uneven overlaps remind me of … close-ups of split-ended hair cuticles, for some reason.. The RTW piece … looks like the top that won Christian the weight-loss-makeover challenge, only in a different color. You can’t tell me that Chris March did that top. It’s too similar. But it looks great. The skirt … meh.

Kit’s rightfully worried that her AG piece isn’t “serious fashion.” Marie has to carry the hoop skirt the whole time she’s walking, not just down the stairs. It’s made of horizontal layers of kind of Holly Hobbie fabrics, separated by satin panels. It’s not that great, and I wish she hadn’t said “Little House on the Prairie,” because that’s all I’m thinking. Ricky took what I think is the most boring print of all the materials and made another ill-fitting slip dress. There are little pockets that make my roommate Kevin say, “It looks like she’s going to go clean somebody’s house.”

If C&C’s avant-garde look is Viktor & Rolf, Victorya and Jillian’s reminds me of John Galliano and Alexander McQueen — a very high-collared black satin coat, which the model unbuttons to reveal the pink plaid lining. (Maybe Olivier Theyskens, who made those black outfits Madonna wore in her “Frozen” video?) There’s also a white blouse with asymmetic ruffles that look like art installations, and jodhpurs. The RTW piece that Jillian threw together is still cute — a one-shouldered black minidress with pink hems on the ruffled skirt edges. It doesn’t look like a 1-hour piece.

The top two — no surprise — are C&C, and V&J. The judges say that Christian’s is “beautifully crafted, certainly important and exciting looking.” I also get to type “soignée,” which I also get to explain to my roommate. (”Polished, sophisticated elegance.” I also had to define organza, which I did less succinctly: “You know that fabric that’s kind of see-through, they use it on ribbons and it’s kind of stiff and makes rustly noises?”)

Victorya’s punk equestrian has a beautiful silhouette, and even the jodhpurs and little black dress are great. She jokes that they made THREE looks, so they should win. Which gets the bitchy raised eyebrow from Christian.

The judges say Sweet P’s commercial dress is “more forward-looking” than Rami’s avant-garde piece, and Nina even tells him, “I wonder if there’s something else you can do” besides that similar look he keeps trotting out. Sweet P’s pants, however, make the model look like “her ass is in the front,” Michael Kors says. How can she make beautiful gowns but have troubles with shirts and pants? No wonder when she says she wanted to add a dramatic element that looks “like an explosion out of her rear,” all she gets is raised eyebrows. They hear that they were arm-wrestling the whole time, not working on pieces together.

Alberta Ferretti says that Kit’s AG piece is “a little Scarlett O’Hara,” although with her Italian accent I thought she said, “Scarlet Wilde,” and was all, “Mental note: Look up Scarlet Wilde.” Luckily, Michael Kors clarified her comment: Scarlett O’Hara ripped down the drapes and made a couture dress, but Kit’s outfit looks like she ripped the sheets off the bed and went out the door. Heidi points out even the satin is wrinkly and puckered. “I feel like it needs to be steamed or something.” The RTW piece is equally disappointing. Ricky says nothing. He’s crying on the inside. And probably on the outside. They cut away really fast.

The winner: Christian, who has immunity for the next challenge. Safe: Chris, Victorya and Jillian … and Ricky? Oh, no — that means the team leaders are on the chopping block. Sure enough, Sweet P is safe.

Heidi’s chastisements are becoming more scripted: Of Rami’s designs, she says, “The only drama we saw was between you and Sweet P.” And of Kit’s, “instead of fashion-forward, you took us backwards.” And adds, “Not in a good way.”

Kit’s out.

So, I’m kind of torn on this one. Christian’s piece was very dramatic — the appropriate level of over-the-top, definitely — but really, when you looked at the garment itself, not that desirable. Victorya’s, on the other hand, even the judges pointed out that women would want to wear it. That was the sort of piece that would send me running to the store if I were rich and saw that on the runway. So even if the criteria were that the piece need not be practical or wearable … doesn’t the fact that Victorya’s was ALSO practical and wearable give the design even more weight? Sort of like extra credit? I definitely would have voted that way.

And in the Rami-vs.-Kit debate: Is it worse to have a blah design and be an obstructionist control freak, or a collaborative blah design? If I had picked who to send home — well, damn, it would have been Ricky. Because that means I wouldn’t have to see him cry next week.

Which of course they’re promo-ing.

Then again, maybe I’d cry if I had to do a challenge at the Port Authority. It manages bridges, tunnels, airports and transit (including boats). What do you think will be the task at hand? A new uniform for street maintenance crews? A challenge featuring scrap metal?
sammit

WHAT SAM WORE: 1/17/08
The shirt: Long-sleeved light cotton button-down by H&M’s second line, OGG. (My first trip to H&M! Chicago, 2005)
The pants: Pinstriped sueded-cotton dress chinos by Banana Republic (sale rack, back when BR had a big, beautiful store at Biltmore Fashion Park)
The shoes: Blackleather loafers by Gordon Rush (Last Chance, 2005) (If you’re wondering how many pairs of black shoes I have, I’ve now worn them all.)
The scent: Marc Jacobs Men

sammit

Posted in: Project Runway |

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.