Well, “hates” is too strong a word, but the “Cosmetics Cop” and author of “Don’t Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me” is no fan of the claims companies like Bare Escentuals make about their “all mineral” cosmetics.

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OK, I recognize that this shoe, the “Garnera” pump in black, is not hot.

Neither is this shoe, the dark brown version.

But what about …

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The year that former Tribune (and current Channel 5 reporter) reporter Tammy Leitner appeared on “Survivor,” I was assigned to do episode recaps for readers who … apparently were interested to find out whether Tammy was still on the show, but not interested enough to watch the show?

I’d never watched the show before so I got Survivor-ed out pretty quickly, but thought it could make a fun fashion spread, turning the Scottsdale life into a competition. (Our logo said: “Survivor spring fashion: Outshop, outspend, out on the town.”)

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When I get time, I’m going to pop up some old work that either I’m proud of or have great stories … Here’s the first!

I’d been on the job for about six months and done quick, one-off shoots for stories, but we decided my first large-scale one would be for prom fashions. I thought it would be a great idea to use real high-school girls, not models. The photographer, Beth McGovern, and I decided to photograph everyday school scenarios, but to plop one girl down in the middle of it decked out for prom. (”Oh, me, wearing this big ol’ gown? Never mind that….”)

(Pics and more after the jump)

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A SHIFT IN ATTITUDE: Mark, Avon’s line geared toward young women, might be best known for its cosmetics, but it throws some fashion into the mix as well, too. Case in point: This graphic-print shift minidress is only $26, in sizes 3 to 17. It’d make a great outfit for a New Year’s Eve house cocktail party. Find the nearest Mark representative at meetmark.com.

GLISTEN UP: Scottsdale colorist extraordinaire KJ D’Aubyn (pronounced doh-BAHN) uses her own system of pigments to give her customers beautiful but natural-looking locks. She recently introduced her own line of hair care products, too — everything from shampoos to pomades and thickening sprays. One item that really stands out is Shimmer powder ($20), which you dissolve in a small amount of water, then saturate hair and leave in for 15 or 20 minutes. After rinsing, hair is super shiny — and crazy soft, too — and the results last about a week. It and all D’Aubyn products are sold at her studio, 6922 E. Fifth Ave., Scottsdale. Information: (480) 970-4660 or daubyncolor.com.

RAISING EYEBROWS: Need to give sparse eyebrows a visual boost? The Stila Brow Set ($18) has two shades of powder: A lighter one to help fill in areas that might be fine (or overplucked … you know who you are) and a darker brown to help define the arch. There’s also a dual-ended Brow Brush ($28) with an angled end to daub and feather in the color, and a wide brush to groom the hairs into formation. Stila products are sold at Sephora at Chandler Fashion Center and Scottsdale Fashion Square.

OK, just in case this is has escaped you thus far: “Deviated septum” is the most popular rationale for getting a nose job, a la Ashley Tisdale, pictured above, and every teenage princess on earth who doesn’t want to own up to the procedure. (”I had a deviated septum, so it was medically necessary.”) That’s the new nose at left, old nose at right.

Well, no: A deviated septum usually can be fixed with a septoplasty — the doctor goes in through the nostrils and repairs the septum, the center ridge that divides the inside of the nose into two nostrils, which lies to one side or the other. Very little or no shape change is required.

Shaving off the ridge is a different procedure — rhinoplasty, which is the traditional “nose job.” Consider it the actress equivalent of, “Hey, while my car’s up there getting its oil changed, why don’t you also put on pinstriping?”

As for Tisdale’s new nose, I think now she looks vaguely the same as the revamped Ashlee Simpson — which is to say, anonymously cute just like a billion other California blondes. Maybe with a little Drew Barrymore thrown in.

Today I got up so late I didn’t have time to shower — barely enough time to brush my teeth. So I just sprayed down my hair with water, mashed down the bedhead areas and did a quick groom with some styling stuff.

Blatant product pitch: This Yucca Shine Wax by Korres is pretty amazing — unlike most other styling products, it’s designed to be used on dry hair — if you’ve got curly hair, you don’t have to dunk your head under the sink to start the whole routine.

I wrote about Korres shampoo and conditioner a few weeks back, and after the column ran I put them in the shower, where even my non-product-obsessed roommate Kevin grew fond of them. When I tried to cycle them out for new products I was testing he lodged a protest: “They smell clean, without … smelling,” he said.)

Anyway, I got in the car and started backing out and caught a glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror and realized that nobody would even be able to tell the difference. Which means that either I’m really good with styling products … or, from the cynical point of view, that every day I look like I woke up late and didn’t take a shower.

I really need to start setting an alarm clock. And maybe get a haircut.

At least this week, the media glare’s off Britney Spears: Her 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn has announced she’s pregnant. (Surprise: Mother Lynne’s upcoming parenting book has been delayed.) From Zooey 101 to Parenting 101, overnight!

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My parents called the other day and asked what I want for Christmas. My mom reminded me that I used to be really “good” about this — I’d send them a list, even listing the stores that sold the items. But every year I get more and more in the mindset that I really don’t need anything — unless someone wants to treat me to a 10% down payment on a cute little ranch-style house, and really, if I can’t get around to saving it myself, why should I ask my parents to help?

“It’s not what you need,” my mom said. “It’s what you’d like.”

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So, in an apparent effort to make up for this, my friend Amy is now verifying her taste levels by sending me photos of shoes she can clearly label as NOT HOT, which was the subject line of her e-mail that included a link to the shoes above.

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