Tonight’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model” begins with Ebony deciding that she’s going to try to “come off like a nice person,” while Ambreal asks her father to pray for her.

Her poppa must pray real hard, because when they end up in the bottom two, Ebony elects to fall on her sword rather than send Ambreal, who clearly wants it more, home. Nothing angers the great and terrible Tyra more than model minions thinking for themselves, and rather than graciously accepting Ebony’s decision, she instead chastises the girl, saying that to her “the most unattractive thing in the world is a quitter.” Apparently she hasn’t looked to her right and seen J. Alexander’s comically large afro. Or Heather’s straight-on shot.

Team Ebony!

No really: The whole episode we watch Ebony become aware of how unsuited she is to, say, rubbing up against Tyson Beckford so he’ll buy … an electric tea kettle? What was that? Also, (a) he’s really short, and (b) whatever he’s tattooed his arms with is really distracting. Nonetheless, a great many of the girls are giddy, including Ambreal, who gleefully recounts: “Tyson bit my mango.”

This week’s challenge involves Keep A Child Alive, and while it’s fun to watch snow-white Sarah utters the words, “I am African,” I would like to point out that in real PSAs, everything is scripted to within an inch of its life and thus models would not only not be required to write their own dialogue, it would also not be suggested that they write things on posterboard in Magic Marker.

Anyway, Ambreal/Jenah/Heather’s team wins, and Heather’s name is drawn at random to appear in a PSA for a charity – no, wait, that’s not right at all. Instead, she will be eaten by appearing in an ad for Lisa Price, founder of skin care and beauty company Carol’s Daughter. And the ad will be styled by Mary J. Blige! They were clearly hoping for a black girl to be picked because the wardrobe choices are all big ol’ African-print caftans, and Harlem-based Carol’s Daughter products include Loc Butter (“ideal for dreads, cornrows and up-dos”) and moisturizers that “get rid of ash.” Go Heather! Represent! In what is not foreshadowing at all, shespends the entire shoot being cajoled by actual photographer Matthew Rolston into giving a full-face shot, which from the looks of the shoot appears to be not unattractive.

After a half-hour of hearing how important it is to be clear and concise and lend your voice to a cause, it’s really funny to hear Jaslene’s “My Life” ads. My friend Alex, sitting next to me, said, “Who is that – last year’s winner? She’s horrible!” Indeed, all I can decipher is the word “juicy,” or possibly “fruity,” involving shiny lip products. And the winners of the makeover contest? Definitely not the CW’s target audience, as they all appear to be in the 40-ish range.

Tyra’s latest Very Special Photo Shoot involves recycling: Each girl will be “representing” a different recyclable material. Heather, aluminum cans; Salisha, auto parts; Chantal, shredded paper; Ebony, bubble wrap; Sarah, garbage bags; Bianca, oil; Ambreal, newspaper; Jenah, cardboard; Lisa, plastic bottles. (Click on each thumbnail to bring up the full photo in a new window.)

For some girls, Jay Manuel is all supportive and full of suggestions; for others, like Ebony, he lets them run through their allotted frames, then tells them how awful they were. Helpful!

At judging, everyone gets their photos. Jenah’s body language is awesome; too bad about the “butterface” (although this week it’s not so bad; she’s giving me an Ashlee Simpson vibe). I am really boggled by how everyone oohs and aahs over Heather’s front-on photo, because I think it’s a truly awful face shot. Bianca says she was practicing all week in the mirror – indeed, we see footage – to give a smile in her eyes. Apparently she practiced so hard they turned blue, too. That’s some concentration! Half of Chantal’s face is obscured by blowing hair, and this does not bother me since now you can’t see how wonky her eyes are.

Anyway, the bottom two really are Ebony and Ambreal, and when Ebony is called as the one who’s going to continue on, she instead blurts out that she doesn’t want to be there. Tyra suggests that Ebony doesn’t like being criticized and being told she’s not perfect and, by extension, implies she’s giving up and weak and subhuman and deserving of scorn and derision. Ebony really doesn’t care. She just wants to go home.

And here’s my deal: Really, that’s pretty brave. You’re young, you’ve agreed to be on a reality show, you’re probably browbeaten by producers and cameramen and starstruck by La Banks … and you realize you’re really not cut out for this. I see no shame in deciding this. She was trying her hand at modeling, not defending her country in wartime: Why would it more noble to continue to slogs toward your imminent demise doing something you don’t like, especially when you’ve realized your heart’s not in it?

It’s not like she was going to win, anyway: Every week all the judges did was beat her down for various perceived infractions that may or may not have been projections: She was “too tough,” but when she calmed down and played nice she was “too quiet.” Then she wasn’t smiley enough.
I think she was brave to sacrifice herself to let Ambreal stay (not that it’s going to help, because they’re already terrorized her into paralyzing overanalysis on each photo shoot) – not cowardly, as Tyra suggested.

She might not have been the most eloquent about it, but by the time she could muster up the “I just don’t want to take it any more,” I could see where she was coming from. And the editors’ decision to include her audition footage in an attempt to make her seem capricious only backfired, in my eyes.

The video focused on the lively – and, yes, smiling – Ebony who begged for a chance to compete on the show. But getting another look at the shining, hopeful young woman only amplified the contrast between who she had been and the hollow, dead-eyed shell of a woman she’d morphed into after only a few weeks of “ANTM.”

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