Spice Girls checkup, at the announcement today of their impending (11-city) world tour. From left:Posh — I love how the Bloomberg press release refers to how she’s best known for her marriage to soccer player David Beckham and modeling work. If by "modeling work" they mean paparazzi photos, maybe…. Also, I was going to discuss her haircut and color but BREASTS (pushed up) BREASTS (fake looking) BREASTS (too far apart from each other) BREASTS (and did I mention) BREASTS. That push-up job is almost enough to distract me from her feral face. Sporty — New name: Gucci Ninja Walking Undead Kohl-Liner Spice. Her razor-sharp bangs are cute, thoughGinger — A caftan. Really? It makes me think someone’s going to have to lose some weight before December.Baby — For being due to have her own baby any moment now, she looks pretty good. And more or less exactly the same.Scary — Most improved Spice. Except for having sex with Eddie Murphy, I mean.And, last but not least: Ouch. Look, not only are her breasts squashed and hoisted (and not the same color as the rest of her skin), she’s even got some sort of weird underarm back-fat muffin top going on, and you know she’s got a body-fat index of .0001.

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