CAMERON DIAZ looks like she’s wrapped in a piece of incredibly uncomfortable, stiff origami. Even the train looks puffy.

Or you end up looking like you’re trying to be the Bride of Oscar, like JADA PINKETT SMITH does here, in Carolina Herrera. Maybe she’s trying to forecast good luck for her husband Will Smith, nominated for best actor? Because it turns out another nominee’s wife had the same idea …

Thankfully, KEISHA WHITAKER, Forest’s wife, chose a sunnier, less-Oscary shade. And then she, like Anne Hathaway, turned around and ruined it all. …

The embroidery is way too much, especially across the nude back.

ANNE HATHAWAY always picks things that end up accentuating her paleness, but for once I don’t mind this outfit, by Valentino … oh, wait.I didn’t see it from the back.

Please speculate:(1) How did KELLY PRESTON get invited?(2) Did she realize that leopard print is great on, like, shoes, or maybe earrings, but not a whole dress?(3) Did she realize this after putting on this Dolce & Gabbana dress?

Dropping — what, 175 pounds?* — helps her look great. (Oh, the Nina Ricci gown doesn’t hurt, either.) _____* Ryan Phillippe.

I kept trying to find a photo of JENNIFER LOPEZ that didn’t make her channel a "Cleopatra"-era Elizabeth Taylor, but that proved impossible. It turns out her husband Marc Antony helped pick the Marchesa gown.

It’s like Fashion "Freaky Friday": Apparently sometime between the Golden Globes ceremony Jan. 15 and now, best supporting actress nominees RINKO KIKUCHI and JENNIFER HUDSON switched fashion personalities.

At the Globes, Kikuchi channeled dust bunnies and Q-Tips, while Hudson won kudos for her basic black gown. But at the Oscars, Kikuchi unleashed the vamp within, while Hudson apparently channeled the shiny mini jacket of a space villainess in "Flash Gordon" and a dress … with pockets. (See Hudson’s mistake after the jump.)

Now, I can believe that having Andre Leon Talley follow you around can be disconcerting because that guy from Vogue with his nebulous accent from Foreignia, although entertaining to watch, would probably get very annoying after about 5 minutes. So that might explain, say, the size of the necklace. But the shiny mini-bolero? The Valerie Cherish bangs? A DRESS WITH POCKETS, even if it is Oscar de la Renta (and no handler to mutter under her breath to tell you to take your hands out of those pockets)?

Apparently Hudson recognized the error of her ways because she changed into something else much better by the time she went backstage after winning her award.

And when she performed with Beyonce, you better believe there was another costume change involved:

Her breasts were a little too jiggly when she shimmied, but I’d still take it in a heartbeat over that first dress. Beyonce’s outfit is a great improvement from what she showed up in first, too.

We’ve all heard it, but did you know why you tend to look heavier in photos? Michelle Tsai breaks it down in this Explainer column on Slate. (In a nutshell, blame the lighting.)

I usually give a lot of leeway to news stories that discuss "potentially hazardous" ingredients in personal care products, so I took this Newsweek article with more than a grain of salt.But after reading it, I started browsing the labels on the products around my house and found either sodium laureth sulfate or sodium lauryl sulfate in several. In what may or may not be a coincidence, the more expensive the product, the less likely I was to find it on the label: It’s the #2 ingredient in Softsoap body wash but significantly further down — but still there! — on a similar product by Red Flower.Even the American Cancer Society has announced there’s been no proof SLS or SLES are carcinogenic. But knowing there’s no way to check for para-dioxane — and reading it was in children’s shampoos at levels higher than recommended by the FDA. … well, maybe it’s time to find something a little less potentially fatal?But please don’t take away my parabens….

Optimal hairstyle for Britney? Probably not. But like Kelly Clarkson said: "Well, she’s still hot." And it’s not like we haven’t seen it look worse … Like here. Plus, maybe her hair was so damaged it was time to start over from scratch. I can’t see her rocking a pixie cut too well, though …