We’re down to four contestants on "Project Runway," and all four showed outfits today during New York Fashion Week. Only three of them will be broadcast on the finale, however, since one of them will be kicked off next week.

Heidi and Michael were paying attention, but let’s hope Nina was taking notes, not napping. And there’s Daniel Vosovic — publicity whore! You lost last year, remember? — but where’s Tim?After the jump — spoiler alert! — are some of each designer’s outfits.

Yes, thee outfits above are Michael’s (even though they’ve got a distinct Uli flair about them with the play of patterns). The dress is sexy but there’s too much going on with that swimsuit — cutouts, animal prints, lame. … How many outfits do you think have that neckline and fabric?

Laura’s first dress is a showstopper, but that second one is fit for a dowager. I love her personality, and I think these designs are beautiful and classic … but as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think they’d win "Project Runway."

Look! Uli and Michael used the same neckline! In this photo, her dress seems a little dumpy, though — too long and almost saggy near the hem. I love her swimsuit, though — she might have a great future as a swimwear designer. (It would make sense, since she loves that Miami scene so much.)

If these two dresses are indicative, Jeffrey’s presentation isn’t too cohesive. I think this is the weakest collection of the four.Based on these pictures, who would you pick to win? Keep in mind, our wire service moved only two photos for each designer, so there could be amazing looks we don’t see. …Laura’s look is classic but kind of staid (designer equivalent: Oscar de la Renta?), and I don’t know how the judges will think that would sell to a general audience.Michael’s collection looks exuberant but maybe a little impractical (designer equivalent: Roberto Cavalli?), but maybe after previous winners were a gay guy and a straight woman, the judges will hand the prize to a straight man.For Uli, historically the pattern is more noticeable than the design (designer equivalent: Missoni?). I think the judges will question her range.And Jeffrey (designer equivalent: Molly Ringwald in "Pretty in Pink") … well, thanks for trying.

So, I fired up the DVR around 10:20 p.m. to start my recap and I realized that when you select a program the machine’s in the middle of recording — say, in a purely hypothetical way, "Project Runway" — it doesn’t start you at the beginning of the episode, but the current broadcast moment. (Then you have to rewind the program to the beginning.)"Well, this must be a repeat," I said to myself as I watched the designers scurry around backwards at superspeed. "There’s Vincent, and there’s Angela. But they got kicked off already."Oh, it’s no repeat: Much to the delight — or not — of the other designers, they’re back in the game. Luckily, the game turns out to be a very short one.The episode starts off with lots of designers talking about making it to "the final five." Final five this, final five that … I’ve never heard anyone talk about making it two-away-from-top-three before, and the fact that everyone’s so thrilled about it makes me suspect that five ain’t nothin’ but a number that’s about to get messed up.Heidi trots out onto the runway wearing a supercute little silk babydoll minidress and informs the designers she won’t be informing the designers about anything right now: There’s going to be a L’Oreal party tonight, and she’ll tell them more about their challenge then, in front of a couple of special guests. (Also, no booting of one of the models. You know: girls walking out barefoot; the "models, this is a competition for you, too"; the winning designer sticking with his muse, etc. Suspicious, no?)Suspicious, oui: Jeffrey says he’s not looking forward to this party, since "It’s going to be a trap. It’s not going to be a party" — dramatic pause — "at all."Well, the "tonight" Heidi refers to must have happened pretty damn fast, because the designers are wearing the same clothing when they arrive at the nightclub. Kayne, bless his simpleton/simple tastes heart, suggests that the special guests are going to be the members of Destiny’s Child. Well, at least Beyonce is a step up from his "jetsetting" Tara Reid scenario.Oh, but the first guest is … Vincent, who trips when he is coming out to meet the other designers, who look sort of queasy now. (Laura, being three months pregnant, can use morning sickness as an excuse, but the others are on their own.) And when Guest #2 is revealed to be Angela, Jeffrey looks suspended in disbelief. "We’re giving them a chance to come back," Heidi says.Vincent and Angela are flabbergasted; Kayne chugs the rest of his glass of champagne as his voiceover interview compares the returning designers as coming back "like cockroaches." (I am disappointed he didn’t toss a Cher reference in there, too.) Heidi says it had been decided that any designer who won a previous challenge would be eligible to come back (well, except Keith) for this challenge; since Vincent had won the dress-my-mom challenge and Angela was team leader of the Macy’s challenge, they’re baaaaack.All seven will compete this week; if either Vincent or Angela wins, they’ll be allowed to return for good. No matter what, THREE designers will be going home at the end of the episode. "It’s really great," Angela says, holding her head in her hands like she has the biggest migraine ever and speaking with approximately the same amount of elan. At first I was kind of glad to see her back — think of how this will bother Jeffrey! — but then two things happened: (1) I realized she was wearing another stupid bubble skirt, and (2) She used the phrase "This is so gravy" in an interview. And just like that, I was back to hating her.As are quite a few of the other designers. While still at the party, Uli tells her model, "If I go before Angela, it’s going to be embarrassing." In an interview, Jeffrey says, "And the good news is" — dramatic pause — "…" — no, this isn’t a dramatic pause, he’s really struggling to find something to say — "…" — uh, now he’s giving up — "…" — yeah, he’s done. There is no good news.And back in the room the next morning, Laura points out to Angela, "Your win was a team win, so it doesn’t seem quite as fair that you got to come back." (Translation: "Michael and I did a buttload of work editing your lame designs down to something usable, so the fact you get to come back doesn’t seem right.") Angela says something along the lines of, "Well, I think it does!" Yes, and you thought Hollie Hobby was a great reference for a design that got you kicked off already.Oh, there’s a challenge, too: Design an outfit using only black and white fabric. The criteria will be weighted heavily toward design and silhouette, and the styling.Sketch time! Kayne has a big ol’ pair of drag queen cha-cha heels in front of him for inspiration. Laura interviews that after last week’s runway smackdown, she’s going to design something younger: "A youthful, baby-doll dress with a low, square neckline." And then we see her sketch, which looks exactly like a Laura dress, only run through a flapper mill: A long, lean, tasteful sheath, only with feathery-looking detail at the hem. Laura, remember Heidi’s dress from like five minutes ago? That’s a young-looking baby-doll dress. Your sketch looks nothing like that.Tim drops a second bomb on the designers: They must use every scrap of material in their design. No safe overage.Uli — damn Uli! — says she’s going to make a "hippie beach party cocktail dress in prints." Like every other week we’ve seen her. But at least she’s not Angela, who’s going to make "a leather shrug" with "an Edwardian collar" lined "in charmeuse." I think those three phrases were never intended to be spoken aloud with each other. And at this point I realize: Angela’s not going to win, so she’s going home. (One down, two to go.)Vincent gets half a yard too much of one of his fabrics. Kayne’s dress looks awesome from the front but (a) the only white on the whole outfit is piping and a ribbon, and (b) he’s got this weird belt that Michael tells him looks like a hooker. So he ditches it, which leaves him with even less white than before. When Tim Gunn comes in for consultations, he asks where the white is, and Kayne holds up the belt and asks if that counts. "Oh, Jesus!" Tim declares in this overwrought tone that’s equal parts outrage and shock. "I’d call it a trim, not a fabric!"Laura is wracked with self-doubt. She tells Tim Gunn she can’t "exhaust myself with the Olsen twins" when she has a mature point of view. (This, to my chagrin, is the only time the Olsen twins show up in this episode.) She’s tired. She’s even crying. Oh, and in case we haven’t heard a billion times, she’s pregnant. Even her model is hectoring her: "How can (the dress) be younger?" Here comes Collier Strong, lead makeup artist for L’Or

My mom and I have always had polar opposite tastes: I remember one year buying her some dangly vintage-looking earrings, which she didn’t like because they made her earlobes swing. She asked me to return them for something else, so I did … and she didn’t like those, either, and asked me to pick something else out. (Which is when I suggested she exchange them for something she liked, to save me a few more trips to the store.)It’s true with jewelry, clothing, accessories … which leaves me with skin care products. She doesn’t like many perfumes, since she believes they "grow" on her and morph into something else, and you can only buy a woman so much Chanel No. 5 before she’s set for the next decade. She can’t justify using Kiehl’s Creme de Corps when she thinks Keri Lotion works just fine. These are the things that make me wonder if I’m adopted, and make her wonder what kind of child she’s raised.Until I come through with a gift like the Chocolate Fix set from Lather ($32). I get credit for two separate presents: (1) Dutch Mocha Body Buff, which satisfies her requirements of a body scrub that won’t make the shower slippery and my requirements of smelling good, thanks to the ground arabica coffee beans, and scrubbing without leaving you raw. (2) Belgian Chocolate Body Whip, a rich cream that lets her indulge her chocolate fantasy without putting on any pounds. Both include real semisweet chocolate in the ingredients.My only concern: What if this just whets her appetite for the real thing? Then she’s going to blame me for helping her gain weight. …Got a challenge? Put me on the case: Give me the particulars and I’ll try to find a great gift.

Get a head start on fall with the Stila cosmetics pictured here, which are the components of the Autumnal Bliss collection. Faux leather compacts hold three eye shadow trios (Forest Cloves, Cedar Grove and Silver Maple) and one cheek duo, plus four new shades of Lip Glaze. Total retail value: $200!

To be entered to win the whole kit and caboodle (note: caboodle not actually included), send me an e-mail by clicking on this link. Include your name and mailing address, and be sure to put "STILA" in the subject line.I’ll draw one winner from the entries received by noon Friday, Sept. 15.Winner update! Congratulations to Diane Kundrat of Gilbert, who’ll get the cosmetics mailed to her house.

Congratulations to Miachelle DePiano of Gilbert, whose entry was drawn at random — yes, Michelle, at random, not because of your entreaties! — to win the Mint Chocolate collection from Jaqua Beauty, which includes the body butter pictured here.And Staci Severance of Mesa really scored, with the SK-II products that were offered in a "stealth" Web-only giveaway not mentioned in the print edition. Her plunder is worth more than $300!

Is this what sympathy pains are like? Because like Laura, whose pregnancy is gaining at alien-like timetable (if this keeps up, she’ll deliver before the season’s done), I am losing steam quickly on this season of "Project Runway." Even my long-desired dreams came true tonight … and I could barely muster an "eh."(Now, if the Olsen twins really show up next week, that will get me to sit up and take notice, if only to see how Mary-Kate looks these days. Guest judge come runway time is Zac Posen, so it’s not like the Olsens are the ultimate arbiters.)Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah: Vincent is gone. No more sewing in his underclothes, no more discomfiting dialogue with models or producers, no more vaguely annoying (but nowhere in the league of Jeffrey jerkiness) antics to liven up the proceedings. Careful what you wish for …The designers, fresh from their flight to Paris and still in the clothing they made for themselves last week, get their next challenge: Create a couture-style garment in two days. For the fashion-challenged viewers, Tim Gunn explains: Couture means "handmade." (Also: "expensive.") On a true couture gown, everything is hand-sewn: the hems, the embroidery, the beading. (Again: expensive, although in "PR" style, the designers only get 300 euros, about $375.) They’ll show their creations at a party thrown by guest judge Catherine Malandrino.I think one of my favorite moments of the show is when Tim stops by the designers’ temporary digs and remarks: "It’s nice! It’s very French! How thrilling!" in that same tone he would say, "I’m thrilled to introduce you to this week’s guest judge" or, basically anything else on the show. It sounds sincere but overly enunciated. (Read: faking.) And plus, of course the room’s very French. They’re in France.Jeffrey says some BS about how the designers are "letting the inspiration of the city flow through us" as we see them sketching outside, which reminds me of when we would beg our college professors to hold literature discussion classes outdoors in springtime and you spent the entire hour not paying attention to the program BOOK! I meant BOOK! Not referring to a boring episode at all!No matter what, Vincent goes and ruins it by saying how he trained in couture and so this challenge — you guessed it — "turns him on." I’m sure Karl Lagerfeld and his little fan would be thrilled. (You know, with Karl Lagerfeld, I bet he actually might. But I digress.)While shopping for fabrics, Jeffrey announces he’s been inspired by the Statue of Liberty (a gift from the French to the U.S., although he doesn’t mention it). He reveals this by selecting … a bright yellow plaid print, which also happens to be used on a dress form that’s in the store. (By this token, I could say that I was inspired by the Leaning Tower of Pisa when I bought a reversible two-shades-of-gray cotton V-neck sweater in the sale section at Banana Republic over the long weekend.)After last week’s judge smackdown, Uli selects fabrics that have no print in them whatsoever. "No crazy prints, no crazy colors," she says, a complete reversal from last week’s "it looks good even when you’re wasted."We have to see Vincent in his undershirt this week — unexplained, yes, but a step up from seeing him in his boxers, so I’ll take it. He keeps talking about how great the pattern is looking. Laura, whose description should change from "architect" to "she says what viewers at home are thinking," says Vincent is "a legend in his own mind." There’s a great shot of him yammering on about his creation while Laura doesn’t even try to stifle a big yawn.Kayne, meanwhile, is having trouble reining in his "Vegas tendencies," as Laura puts it. When Tim Gunn shows up, here’s how he eases into his critique: "I’m saying this to you only in the spirit of someone who wants you to succeed." You know whatever comes next isn’t going to be good. And Kayne blithely disregards Tim’s input, just like Angela did last week, and Katherine did the week she got booted. …If you’re self-described "white trash," probably the smartest thing you could do in this competition would be to heed the advice of someone who’s pretty much the antithesis of white trash. Just a thought from a guy from a town of 8,000 on the Montana plains. If Tim Gunn showed up at my house, took a look at what I had put on and started a sentence with "I’m saying this to you only in the spirit of someone –" I would not only remove the offending garments before he had finished the sentence, but probably burn them. There’s a reason he’s there as a mentor.Anyway: Laura has a little sign that says "Caution: Fleurchamps going on." This makes me reconsider my spelling of fleurchons, but I decide against it. Also, I start looking for rosettes. I can’t help it.And, as it turns out, there’s a big flower glued onto the back of Vincent’s dress. A lot of stuff has been glued onto Vincent’s dress, because apparently he can’t manage his time well. His dress is also kind of badly formed and ugly: The top is open too wide (he’s taking lessons from Laura!), and the bottom resembles what, when I lived in small-town Montana, I thought "fancy Christmas gift wrap" should look like. I think Uli refers to it as a sofa fabric.Everyone’s harping about everyone else’s gown. Jeffrey says of Michael’s ruched bodice: "I think that’s what Malan was trying to do," referring to that designer’s lumpy, misshapen technique that got him auf’d early in the season. Laura’s creation is …well, long-sleeved and black wool, with puffy white cuffs and a collar that when at full frill looks like something Queen Elizabeth might have worn. (It also reminds me of a frilled lizard at full fright mode.)And here’s when I notice that every designer except for Laura is dressed like he or she is about to perform some strenuous household chores: T-shirts and shorts for the men, a cami-style top for Uli. It almost makes me yearn for the days of Malan, who you know would have been totally decked out for a trip to France. What did these people pack in their suitcases? They had an hour, for heaven’s sake.Catherine’s fancy party turns out to be on a boat on the Seine. While they are walking there, some guy in a second-floor apartment decides to chuck some eggs at them, and one splatters on the ground and gets the bottom of Michael’s dress all nasty. And, surprisingly, nobody confronts him or says, "Hey, WTF?" Not even Tim Gunn: "Excuse me, monsieur? I was wondering if we could caucus about your decision to pelt the designers with oeufs?" The camera just pans up to the guy. It’s never explained why the guy thought it’d be a great idea to throw eggs at people. Maybe he was aiming for Vincent’s ugly dress — an editorial statement — but couldn’t aim very well.This week Catherine is relatively restrained in her comments. She tells Laura it’s very "audacious" to create a dress with long sleeves, for example, but you can’t necessarily tell from her demeanor whether that’s good or bad.Vincent decides to ask her about it: In fact, he decides to ask her about pretty much everything. He’s trying to suck up in those most blatant, stomach-churning way possible. Yes, she does look pretty awesome with some killer shades, but he asks her if those are "her shoes" (answer: no) and tells her what an amazing woman she is, which gives me flashbacks to Keith being all molestery on Miss USA a few weeks back. He asks her point-blank what she thought about his dress and she says it’s "interesting." Which, as everyone should know, is the way you say "horrible" in polite company.I am pleased to see Collier Strong finally has a new technique/product to hawk during the L’Oreal ad. I am not pleased to see his "smoky eye" and how amazingly unsmoky it really looks. And I’m finally going to say what I thought the first time I saw these ads, and what every single newcomer I’ve watched the show with has said out loud: For a skin care/cosmetics company spokesman, he’s got some really distracting skin issues. Should it matter? Absolutely not. Does it? It pulls the focus away from whatever he’s saying, that’s for sure. (And if he’s responsible for Beyonce’s pinkeye look in those new ads for L’Oreal’s H.I.P. line, he should be fired.)It’s back to New York for judging. Heidi emerges with some lovely tousled hair — a welcome change from last week’s severe bangs — and a cute little black dress. Guest judge this week is Richard Tyler, who just happens to have designed the new uniforms for Delta Airlines, which just happens to have been the airline that flew our contestants to Paris. Synchronicity! If only he had been filmed pulling up in a Saturn Sky roadster, it would have been complete.My second-favorite moment is when Michael confesses that he’s "sweating like a whore in church" about his dress. Only because my mom used to say that. (Not about herself in church, I hasten to add.) Michael’s dress … well, let’s look at his, and everyone else’s, shall we?Michael’s bodice is an improvement upon Malan’s, but that’s damning with faint praise. The judges suggest tucking in the cups that poke up above the line of the gown (Heidi compares them to bunny ears), and it’s an immediate improvement. Also, this is when I realize that his model really is all about the hair. With it tamed, she’s not that striking.Kayne’s chiffon ombre skirt gets kudos from the judges, but the gold beaded top with exposed boning earns this from Michael Kors: Maybe his middle name is "too much." It photographs lovely in still pictures, but up close the boning is visible through the material.Laura’s dress really does look fusty — sort of what I imagine an aging star in the ’20s swanning around the house in. The collar lost a lot of its volume on the trip across the Atlantic, so it’s flatter, but that alone doesn’t sink the design as much as the overall boring effect does. (Michael Kors says: Shorten it and give her a feather duster, and she’s a French maid.)Uli’s dress … still Uli, just now print-free. There’s a lot of braiding detail that covers the hem and trim, and the judges love that she toned down the color — they say it shows her growth. It’s Grecian-glamorous but not really distinctive — although against this field of contenders, it looks pretty amazing.Jeffrey’s gown … well, as Tim Gunn says in his podcasts, it’s all about the tastes. The judges love its exuberance and how he took creative chances; I think it makes the model look like a walking Highland Fling, and a toilet paper cozy from the waist down. When she walks, the cut lets you see what kind of waxing she prefers. (Which is to say: Santino Rice ripoff.)And Vincent’s. It’s never a good sign when the judges suggest the front of your gown should be the back, and vice versa. But really, it wouldn’t hurt. But then again, it probably wouldn’t help, either: The odd cap sleeves with shoulder pads are distracting and uneven, and there’s a fleurchon writ horribly large right at the small of her back.They start with the winner of the challenge: For the second week in a row, it’s Jeffrey. But although the winner gets some special prize in a future challenge, it’s hinted, there will be no immunity. Uli’s safe, Michael’s safe, Kayne’s safe. It’s down to Laura (!) and Vincent.Vincent’s dress lacked finishing and detail, and the front looked like the back. Laura, your look was "old and predictable. We’ve seen it before … and done better." (And that was true even with collar at Full Angry Lizard, as seen at left during the Paris trip.) And I will admit that when I heard that, I thought Laura was a goner. But it’s Vincent, who takes his loss graciously and smiles his way through his goodbyes.Up alone in the design room, though, he has to ruin any goodwill he’s accumulated by announcing — you guessed it — that the experience "got him off." The good news: That’s the last time we’ll hear that phrase until the reunion special. The better news: Olsen twins next week! I can’t wait until Kimmy Gibler shows up a couple episodes down the pike.

Sorry about the mix-up in getting this posted! To enter to the contest to win one of each of the products in the Mint Chocolate Collection from Jaqua, shoot me an e-mail by clicking on this link. Be sure to include your name and mailing address, and use the subject JAQUA.I’ll draw one winner from the entries received by noon Wednesday, Sept. 6.JA

Shakira looked almost quaint and old-fashioned on the red carpet for the MTV Music Awards:

Contrast to, say, Ice-T’s wife, Coco:

By the way, Coco hasn’t even hit 25 yet.

Christina Aguilera looked great on the red carpet … until she decided to perform a kind deed and pose with a young fan.

Which is when the orangey depths of her spray-tan addiction became visible to the public. This is why stars should never mix with the little people.

Speaking of spray tans, Jessica Simpson looked good from a distance …

But up close … well, you don’t want to be up close any more.

Her hair may be all hers, as she took pains to point out, but her tan and her lips are definitely rented. And that whole one-earring thing? Let’s move on …

"Hi, my name is Jennifer Lopez, and I’ve just come from the most fashionable face lift/brain surgery ever." Because there’s no other reason for her to be wearing this turban/high-necked getup. Also, her boots appear to have an extra soccer-pad panel attached over the knee.

"Hi, we’re the Pussycat Dolls."

"But you might know us better as ‘the skeletal one with the face of a crack addict, the one that looks like Carrie Underwood, the big-mouthed one clutching the trophy, the one that looks like Cher, the one that looks like Scary Spice and the one that looks like Elvira out of costume, which is to say way too old to be in this group, even if she is a founder.’ And all of our skirts are way too short. I hate it when people get too matchy-matchy in their outfits….

… Which is why it pains me to look at Panic! At the Disco. Even their hairstyles match up. Messy side parts, looking like they’re going to an Anne Rice fetish ball and trying to hook up with Lestat. And they weren’t the only guy band who really, really consulted with each other…

The members of Cartel checked with each other to make sure it was OK if they dressed like they were going to a frat party.

And OK Go … well, I have nothing bad to say about a band that performs intricate choreography on eight Stairmasters. They’re awesome.

Axl Rose? Not awesome. He does look clean, true, but those cornrows are giving me Federflashbacks.

Diddy looked dandy, but his "Making the Band" group Danity Kane looked as if they’d been styled by someone under the influence of "Austin Powers":

I would say more about them, but they’re bound to disappear much like Eden’s Crush did. (See, that’s a reference to the Popstars band that had one big hit, then dissolved, leaving one member to join the Pussycat Dolls … aw, never mind.)

What was with Beyonce’s hair? It looks like a snap-on wig.

If Kelis can stash stuff in the front of her dress, why does she need the purse? If she’s not stashing stuff in the front of her dress, why does she need to put a pocket there?

Paris Hilton’s bad hair and sooty lashes were bad enough, but those weird black straps look like she’s injured her hands in a "cutting" accident gone horribly wrong.

Oh, if that were only the worst part of it:

Quiz: Petra Nemcova is best known for: (a) clinging to a tree to survive during the tsunami in Bangkok, Thailand; (b) surviving said tsunami and dating James Blunt; (c) looking amazing in the beautiful dresses she decides to wear to public events.

Answer: Not C.

So, let’s appreciate the irony of Pink being handed her award by the ex-husband and ex-best friend of two women she lampooned in her video "Stupid Girls" …But then let’s be distracted at the difference between Pink’s healthy upper arms and Nicole Richie’s frightening ones. You could fit like four Nicole arms in one of Pink’s biceps. My friend went to a wedding where Nicole was one of the friends of the bride, and he said she didn’t look skinny or skeletal at all. I’m taking him to get his vision checked.

Thank God for Shakira! Shakira!

Not even Angelia Jolie can save St. John from the hole it’s dug for itself.The 44-year-old company had earned a devoted following among ladies who lunch and do business — such successful business, in fact, that they bought more St. John knits, to the tune of $400 million.But the conservative cut of the clothing apparently rankled the new owners, who lopped out the company founders, including lead designer Marie Gray and her daughter, longtime model Kelly. Instead, Gisele Bundchen took over as model … and a couple of weeks later, Angelina Jolie.The old guard, revolted (the adjective), revolted (the verb). The new designs wasn’t the sort of look that the core customer would be comfortable wearing. Like these outfits from the Spring 2006 line:Yes, you can see lawyers, real estate agents and travel agency owners showing up to a meeting in one of these looks, can’t you?Since then, the replacement designer left the company, and the chief executive who launched most of the changes is gone, too. Marie Gray is back as a consultant and it appears the company is going to try to, as the Los Angeles Times wrote, "right the ship" again by returning to its classic roots.So take a good look at these St. John ads. They won’t last long …