EMMY RED CARPET: WIN, LOSE OR DRAW?
August 27th, 2006, 9:22 pm · 4 Comments · posted by Sam Mittelsteadt
I love how Alfre Woodard looked — everything from her gown to her jewelry and her hairstyle was great. WINNER
I’m giving Alison Janney a bye with her raspberry-colored multitiered gown by Elie Saab, but she shouldn’t have paired it with metallic necklaces. They look too matchy-matchy with her purse. Maybe some strands of pearls? DRAW
The back of Cheryl Hines’ gown by Chakra is a purple peacock-meets-Bollywood monstrosity. And if you know people will be looking at your back all night, make sure the back of your hair doesn’t look all woolly. LOSER
Blythe Danner needed a brush and some spray to keep her coiffure under wraps. LOSER
Christa Miller’s maternity gown gives her a California girl vibe, and the golden drop earrings highlight the embroidery on her bodice. WINNER
Elizabeth Perkins looks squeezed into her metallic floral gown, which also makes her hips look huge. LOSER
Ellen Pompeo looks great in her sleeveless Dior gown. WINNER
Presenter Felicity Huffman’s matte gown was flattering, but her lank locks weren’t. DRAW
The detail in the bodice of Evangeline Lilly’s dark purple Versace gown was icing on a beautiful cake. WINNER
I like the top of Heidi Klum’s maternity gown — by fellow "Project Runway" judge Michael Kors, naturally! — but the fabric is so thin you can see her belly button sticking out, and the slit’s cut a bit high. DRAW
Jaclyn Smith looked amazing — the best of the three "Charlie’s Angels" stars who gave tribute to producer Aaron Spelling. WINNER
The part of the gown that actually touches Jane Kaczmarek’s body is awesome, but what are those things she’s holding out? Wings? A lousy train? And her stiff-looking ’60s hair is doing her no favors, either. LOSER
Whether or not the wrinkled effect was intentional, Jean Smart’s gown looked like it needed to be blasted with a steamer. LOSER
Jenna Fischer’s dress had an ugly bow, an ugly color and an ugly stiff fabric. LOSER
Jeremy Piven channeled his inner Rat Pack member by wearing an ascot. And I actually didn’t mind — it’s a little different and still honors the specialness of the occasion. WINNER
Whereas Simon Cowell couldn’t be bothered to button up his shirt. I never thought I’d ask him to put on a tight black T-shirt, but please. Nobody wants to see your chest hair. LOSER
Joan Collins looks like a mother of the bride: An incredibly heavily beaded mother of the bride, but still. DRAW
Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gown was simple and I liked the touches of black. WINNER
Katherine Heigl looks like equal parts Jessica Simpson and blow-up doll. But her nude Escada gown is awesome. WINNER
The iridescence — or is that ombre? — of Kathy Griffin’s dress unfortunately makes it look like look like she spilled several beers on herself. Yesterday, and let it dry hoping nobody would notice the stains. LOSER
I would have loved Kyra Sedgwick’s beautifully floaty gown by Giorgio Armani Prive — except for that weird floral tumor on the front. DRAW
Leah Remini’s purple Versace gown? A winner. Her too-tight shoes that are gripping her legs so painfully she’s bound to have ugly welts on her calves? Losers. DRAW
The conundrum of Lisa Kudrow’s gown: How can something that shows off so much poitrine still look schoolmarmish? Maybe it’s the severe hair and undersize jewelry. DRAW
I loved everything about Mariska Hargitay’s look: It looks flawless and effortless — a major coup. WINNER
Megan Mullaly’s dress by Badgley Mischka makes her look kind of square, and it needs hemmed in the front. DRAW
See, Morgan Fairchild, they’re called evening gloves for a reason. Take them off, put them in your purse, and put them on when you’re inside and it’s evening. Also, her dress is so tight it’s giving her pancake boobs, squashed against her chest. LOSER
Look, even Warren Beatty in the background is grimacing at Paula Abdul. Is she just drunk? Is that why that mystery hand is yanking her off, so she doesn’t make a fool of herself? The dress is pretty and I like the necklace, but the bracelets and hair remind me of a teenager in the ’80s. DRAW
I have no idea who Phoebe Price is — IMDB.com says she’s an "actress" — but I know this: She looks like a horrible Appalachian toilet paper cozy. All she needs is Minnie Pearl’s hat with the price tag hanging off it. LOSER
Sarah Chalke looks sweet in her lace gown, and the neckline is very flattering. WINNER
Tyra Banks is looking more and more like a transvestite Josephine Baker impersonator every time I see her. I don’t care if she’s wearing $3.5 million worth of Chopard jewelry. LOSER
Virginia Madsen should have put the puppies away before heading out for the evening in this Kevan Hall lace gown. DRAW
Candice Bergen looks like she’s busting the buttons of this blouse. And here’s what I hate about white shirts: You can tell where the overlays are. LOSER
I loved Helen Mirren in this white confection. And the bejeweled choker was an awesome touch. WINNER
Meanwhile, Sandra Oh piled on the necklaces, which ruined the look of her Vera Wang gown. LOSER
Rachael Harris is dressed for cocktails, not the Emmys. LOSER
Janel Maloney: dressed to be overlooked. And why couldn’t they afford to line the entire dress? DRAW
I love the play of Portia de Rossi’s scarlet handbag against her olive gown. I just wish she hadn’t matched her lipstick to her clutch. DRAW
August 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Hello, Sammers! (and onlookers)
When I saw your brief review of the Emmy’s in this morning’s paper I just had to snead a peak to see if you went into more detail, and, BRAVO, my man! You give Tim Gunn a sincere run for his (borrrrring)money on this front. Wish I could promote you for color on the carpet over the LOOOOSERS that NBC hired to do the job. Your review and pictures are the best I have seen. And of course, Eusta B has a couple comments of my own to share—
No mention given to Angela PR 3) helping to desing the dress for Kyra Sedgwick but how could it NOT be with that floret attacking her thight? And, is Candice Bergen making a biopic about Martha Stewart? I swore that was who I was looking at until I read the liner notes to the pic. How did formerly so glam end up THIS way!!! Oh, the humility of it all. And as I am sure you remember from PR2 last season, Heidi has a “thing” about exposing her belly button. This new “I’m preggers so flaunt it ” look is really getting annoying. Give me back the MuuMuu shift with the Peter Pan collar and big bow my mum wore when she had my brother. I have no idea what she wore for me, I was on the inside looking out, but I am SURE it was not fire engine red gossamer. See you Thursday morning, love,
tah,
Eusta B. D. Ziner
August 29th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
There are several of your opinions with which I disagree. Perhaps it’s the male vs. female perspective? a) I think the back of Cheryl Hines’ dress has detail that is to be admired, and I like the nude effect, making the viewer pause to wonder whether it’s jewelry or the gown. b) Orange is not a color to wear when you are pregnant, whether you are Heidi Klum or Christa Miller. It makes you look like an orange. c) Jeremy Piven looks like he just came in from partying all night. Nothing sophisticated or Rat Packish at all. I wouldn’t give him a second glance except to tell him to head for the shower and clean up! d) Portia de Rossi is very pale. With the dress, anything less vibrant for lipstick, her face would wash out. However, she certainly could have used some stunning jewelry with that neckline! e) You seem inconsistant about when the exposure of “puppies” are appropriate. Some of your favorites are showing their fair share of cleavage, but you knock others for doing so…
August 29th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
Miachelle raises a good point: What’s cleavage and what’s coverage? While Katherine Heigl’s dress certainly isn’t modest, Virginia Madsen’s is so open, so far down, that if she turned a little bit one way or the other, the entire side of the breast would be exposed. That wouldn’t happen in Katherine’s dress — or in Felicity Huffman’s, either, because although the neckline drops low, there’s a lot of fabric on either side of it.
The more I look at that photo of Jeremy Piven, the less I like it. I think it’s because of his hair more than anything else, though.
I still like Christa Miller in orange, though. What really surprised me about that photo is how even though she’s full-size pregnant and dressed in a bright color, my eye still went straight to her face and I said, “Damn, look how good she looks pregnant and in orange!” Whereas Cheryl Hines’ gown requires her to be turned around all night so you can see the real detail in it — and can you imagine sitting in a chair with those jewels rammed into the small of your back?
And Miachelle’s definitely right: Portia needed some dark lipstick — but a quick blot might have taken the intensity down just a little bit, so you see her face, and not just her lips.
But if she says anything nice about Phoebe’s dress, I’m taking away her posting privileges.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Sounds like you need a female blog counterpart!
And if you hop on over to a certain rival site, you’ll see some opposing viewpoints as well on the Emmy’s. It’s interesting to see male vs. female opinions on fashion! Have a good night!