PROJECT RUNWAY 3.3: REWARDING THE UNDERACHIEVER
July 27th, 2006, 12:17 am · 3 Comments · posted by Sam Mittelsteadt
This week’s episode encourages the slacker in all of us: BRADLEY can’t figure out what to design, spends his time moping and sighing, and can’t figure out why he has to finish an outfit at all. Also, it appears he’s opposed to washing and combing his hair.This being TV, the judges coo over the haphazard pile of … fabric he cobbles together to make a blouse. I blame this entirely on guest judge Vera Wang, who after two weeks apparently has infected even the usually sane Nina Garcia, who says (without laughing): "I can see shooting that for Elle!"
Meanwhile, "Target textiles designer" KATHERINE — herself unencumbered by the niceties of combing or brushing her hair, but no stranger to rubber band pig(let)tails — gets sent home for shoddy, uninspired workmanship. (Note to self: Avoid anything Mossimo for the next few seasons.) You know how they say animals can sense disasters before humans? That explains why her dog started whimpering on the runway during judging — well, that and the outfit she created for her model.In honor of Bradley, I don’t really see why I have to finish anything. If I’m not really inspired, I’m going to move on to the next –
Where was I? Oh, yeah: How old is guest judge IVANKA TRUMP? Because she’s amazingly well-spoken and mature for someone born in 1981. (But preternaturally shiny, as seen in the picture at right.) You know how you see some women in their early to mid-20s and they act like idiots, sound — um, like, y’know, they never graduated from Valley High? — and generally set back the progress of women?Compare and contrast: Trump is only two months older than Britney Spears, half a year younger than Paris Hilton and a full six years younger than Tara Reid, but she might as well be their tutor in Well-Behaved, Appropriate Behavior and Speech.Anyway, back to the start of the challenge: Heidi tells the designers they’ll be creating something related to "one of fashion’s hottest accessories," then sends them home to reflect and speculate. The next morning, when Laura reads the note that tells them to meet Tim Gunn in the park, she decides that means the accessory might be a horse, and dresses appropriately: Jodhpurs, riding boots … I bet she has a riding crop just waiting somewhere, too. She looks like she’d have one, either for her kids or her husband. Speaking of accessories, Angela is again wearing those stupid green plastic-framed cat-eye glasses that scream Crazy Cat Lady of Santa Fe. And Keith is wearing a trilby-style hat that makes me think of "Blossom." Luckily, before I can finish the theme song ("Don’t know about the future / That’s anybody’s guess / Ain’t no good reason for gettin’ all depressed…") in my head, Tim crests the dale with a pack of handbag-sized dogs on leashes. "One of fashion’s hottest accessories?" How long ago was this series taped, exactly? I expect next week’s episode to include the news flash that a new, slim cell phone called the Razr is going to be popular, or that oversize sunglasses and eating disorders will soon be all the rage among Hollywood starlets.The designers learn they’ve got to create a womenswear outfit inspired by the dog (and come up with a story about the owner), and also create a matching outfit for the dog. Keith waxes rhapsodic about how his Chinese crested breed is rare and exotic (read: ugly). Laura doesn’t like dogs and holds hers in a shopping bag as far away from her as her arms can manage, like a bag full of rats, or poo, or bubble skirts by Angela.At the fabric store, Alison begins with a ho-hum story about how her imaginary owner is "a girl who travels the world," which is right up there with "old Hollywood glamor" in the Project Runway overused-phrases category. Not in that category: Angela’s crazy scenario of a headmistress of a British art camp called Jubilee Jumbles — it’s her dog’s birthday so she’s throwing it a party.Angela is wearing a patchwork railroad conductor’s hat, turned to the side, that reminds me of the Dolly Parton song "Coat of Many Colors"









July 29th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
I wish Michael Kors would come back. Vera Wang’s critiques are so odd. I loved that Vincent’s dog was trying to get the hat off on the runways. Michael’s dress was stunning. The judges are confusing me this season. With Keith’s dress from the first epeisode I thought they’d call him out for only using a sheet. And then they applaud Bradley with his very dull blouse that he could barely finish.
July 30th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Your comments are hilarious and right on! This WAS a boring episode and they created way too much drama with the Bradley thing so there must have been slim pickings in the editing room. The dog thing was pretty lame, lots of other REAL accessories they could have chosen which would have been much more interesting.
July 31st, 2006 at 7:17 am
I’m just waiting for when Angela gets das boot! She has the worst attitude about everything, and she does design as she dresses herself-no vision, and very scary! I know a designer here in Phx who tried out for PR this season, and to compare the two women is like night and day. I can’t believe Angela made it on this show to begin with. As for the mystery ejection next week…it probably isn’t Angela for her nasty attitude, so it’s all irrelevant at that point.