It’s come to this: You get to pick which pair of shoes I should buy. They’re from the same store (Aldo) and the price difference is only $10.

(The surprising winner below!)The brown Julianus loafer at left reminded me of classic driving moccasins, but then I think I’d start yearning for a nice new roadster to drive while wearing them. And the Dyonisius sport sneaker at right … well, it’s just cool, even if I think the whole Diesel-inspired sport sneaker trend is at maximum saturation right now, and plus I have a friend whose real first name is Dionysius, so it’s sort of a sign from the retail gods I should have them, right? (Or maybe it’s a sign he should have them. My reception can be a bit murky sometimes.)And then I found this shoe, which I think combines the best of both shoes. And it was on sale. For $48 and change. So although I’d never ordered shoes online before — so many sizing issues! — these Tumble shoes by J. Norse now are sitting in one of my shoe racks. … There are a few pairs left at Goclothing.com, but only in sizes 11 or 12.

Let me preface this by saying I love H&M: On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my priorities were the National Gallery, then the Smithsonian, then the clothing store known for trendy clothing on the cheap.How trendy? The store contracts with high-end designers to create a low-priced line sold only for a season at the store; previous collaborators included Stella McCartney and Karl Lagerfeld.Coming soon: Viktor & Rolf … and Madonna. Sort of: The store signed a deal to dress Madonna’s backup dancers (when they’re not on stage … huh?), and announced there will be a Madonna track suit in the fall.If H&M wants to continue the trend of dressing non-famous people when they’re not in the public eye, the next logical step is for them to send me a ton of free clothing, which I’ll wear to work. The track suit, however, is a no-go.

Give New York Knicks star Stephon Marbury credit for introducing sneakers that sell for $14.98. A quick search of "Nike basketball" brings up LeBron James-branded shoes for $159, and the Jason Kidd 2K3 sneaker for $465.

Let’s do the math: Spray-on tan + leopard print +crispy platinum hair = 30 years added to Brooke Hogan’s appearance.At least she’s wearing underwear. …